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I Just Saw A Gucci Ad

It was a long advertisement, like fucking five minutes?

Two obviously, ahem... Not vagina-friendly individuals were...?

What in the fuck?

They look like fucking clowns.

So this advertisement is trying to tell me to use the "beauty of nature" to inspire your art? I think? Maybe... I'm not sure.

And now your floating in the water, wearing a dress, and are those pearls on your eyeball?

Is it supposed to be some kind sexual innuendo?

Oh now we're picking some flowers, very delicately. The hat makes you look like a Teletubbie, but I digress.

It's fashion.

...Now humping some air, and dancing around?

...I didn't know flowers played EDM

...Cool, we are riding together on a motorcycle.

How cute.

Oh! You know!? I think I get it, we are supposed to feel the tingle of how in-tune you are with your art. How forward thinking you are!

I Fought The LGBT Movement

Here we are,

Again...

I'mdrunk. And outside the house, somewhere.

Then one of those asshole friends of mine was all like,

"Hey Leo, you want a shot?"
 I replied,

"No, I'm good."
"Well that's fucking gay..."
An outraged, disembodied voice screams back,

"You got a problem with gay people?"
Andy spits back,

"Fuck you, I wasn't even talking to you."
Hey, what a coincidence! This is starting to remind me of that one night at the strip club. Except this time, we have an easily offended twink yelling at us.

How come everything reminds of that stripper bitch? Maybe I'm just scarred.

"No fuck YOU, you discriminating bigot! All you cis-males are the same!"
I tried ordering some popcorn from the bartenders, but they ignored me... It's okay, thanks for saving me money. No tips fah u! ASSHOLES.

But I was confused, what in the world is a cis-male? I've never heard that term before.

Cis?

Sis?

Mail?

So I walked bac…

Bitch Threatened To Beat You Up

How low have we come as a fucking male species.

I mean seriously.


How low did y'all go.

I'm about to do another drunk post, this is real talk fellas.

Tonight I went out with a couple coworkers: one is a original gangster, the other is a liberal.

Need I say more?

Now notice the differences.

...Both were talking to this one chick.

She was white with a "I-wanna-be-a-gangster-bitch" attitude, looked like a stoner but wasn't chill... And all at the same time. You know... I don't know, I'm confused.

She just looked like a bitch.

Done.


The OG got hit with some trash talk, but she pulled a quick reversal,

"Oh no, OMG. Just kidding! No really doe, whatchu doing round these parts."
I guess she was digging the gangster. She explained how we're in her hood, and shit like that... Sure... Guess she's trying to say she's a bad bitch.

I didn't know living in a rich, white neighborhood was JUST like living in the projects!

Now, that other asshole…

Rihanna Was Fat-Shamed

This article from the Revelist, hating on Barstool Sports...

People are acting as if anything you say about a women, or the plethora of "groups" out there...

"You are harassing totally innocent people, and for no reason!"
Uh no, it is not even close to being innocent.

I love women, I even have a girlfriend which might shock you.

But the ones I'm directing my all hate towards... are feminists.

The other normal, rational women are lovely.

So here we are... All up in arms and absolutely triggered because someone called one of you fat.

What if it is true?

You ARE getting thiccc, and need to cut back on the donuts.

Can you not take criticism?

Because Rihanna apparently took it very well, responding in a very funny way! You cannot hate on that picture of the Gucci.

And no one seems to have a problem making fun of my beer belly?

Yet I'm not crying either, so?

Maybe the issue really isn't what so-and-so said, but how thin the skin on our fellow net-itizens h…

The Embodiment Of Cuck

You ever meet someone so beta,

That when you see what they got to say, you can't help but just laugh?

I mean,

Just look at this shit.

I can't even be mad at this.

"Ones" - what are those?

"Stripper" - unclear on the concept.

"I go in to Pandora or Sands, I "engage with a lap-entertainment specialist", and, "for minor discretionary renumeration", certain "non-transactional pleasurable services are rendered. ".

The difference is, the pleasure consultant does not feel like a cheap tool. And she shouldn't; she's an expensive tool. Very high batting average. No gansta-rap gold-tooth-cap baggy-pants posing needed."
Sounds like someone got confidence issues.

First of all, you spelt "remuneration" wrong.

It's like, if you hate yourself SO MUCH that strippers are your go-to angelic savior.

Perhaps,

It's time to just call it quits on life.

I mean, just look at all this!

"...Lap-entertainment special…