How To Tell If Her Pussy Is Clean

I'd rather be a celibate virgin, than eat cottage cheese... again. You just met this girl, things are going pretty good, and you're probably gonna hit it tonight. But you're still worried about that one cottage cheese incident.  That cheese is still fresh on your mind. Is there a way to tell if you're about to get some unwanted Parmesan on that salad? I consulted the experts: Me: My man! I need some wisdom. Gary: Mood morning my friend, what is on your mind? Me: I was just in the shower, and I was thinking... How can you tell if a girl you just met has that squeaky clean pussy? Gary: I thought you were gonna say that you were thinking about me in the shower. 💦 First, you do the sniff test. If she passes that, then rubber up. Don't lick that pussy until you know some history! 👅 Me: Is there a way to tell before you're already past the point of running the fuck away? Gary: No, she could be a clean freak, and you might still end up lickin

TikTok Influencers

Ah, nothing like a fresh cup of cringe in the morning. We got so many people desperate for attention, they are eating out of toilets, chugging cough syrup, and now... faking tourettes? These "influencers" will do anything for views, which is pretty fucking sad.  But let's be real here. All they're desperately screaming is, "I want to get paid for doing nothing." And that's a pretty honorable goal in itself, I myself, would love to sit around all day and film myself doing stupid shit... while getting paid $100,000 a year.   Just who the hell are the people paying for all this? I mean, do we have a bad case of the old farts with too much money? I guess as long as you get eyeballs looking, you can blast annoying advertisements at them then rake in that cash. But that's only if you are YouTube or the Tok. Still... it doesn't make sense to me. I mean, if I were selling shit, I wouldn't want my products advertised on some chick making a sundae with

Rich Folks And Their Sugar Babies

I happen to know a lot of escorts, hookers, companions... whatever you wanna call it, it is the oldest profession in town. Right next to working behind a dumper at Wendy's giving $20 BJs. Every now and then, these girls would tell me about some rich bruh, who will take them to a nice little brunch then causally drop $1,500 on the table.  "Here you go! Just a little gift from me." Do you know how long it would take to make that kind of money, sitting behind a dumpster? A long time. And the funny part is, these assholes got families too, so they're already treatin the wifey to that Chanel and L.V. yum yum. Yet, they got SO much money, they can afford to splurge on a side piece/s too. These girls are already making 200+ an hour, and if you are a "high-class" escort, it is 500+ an hour easy. And don't even get me started on that chick who did like one video, so now she thinks she is a porn star... they are not broke. Yet, here we are. I don't know about

Why Does Everyone Have A OnlyFans Now just looks desperate. But hey, that's just me. It's like, "you know what, I'm a future doctor" but let me post some nudes on Reddit real quick, for that thot high-score. It tingles in all the right places when literal hordes of mindless basement dwellers are MELTING over my body. And when I say melt, I mean furiously masturbating into a sock... probably. But hey, use lube kids, or you'll chaff your wiener. And nobody wants a chaffed wiener. So we got random titty pics posted online for that quick self-esteem, which is kind of funny, are these bitches endless voids of insecurity? Despite all the attention gushing from unmentionable places, their bucket never seems to get full. And and endless cycle of nudes and simpin continues. Well, I guess if people paid for my nudes, I'd probably take advantage of it too. But the issue is when everyone thinks they can do it. And trust me, not everyone can do it. Sure there is a niche for everything, but when you o

Clean Your Junk

Your dink, wiener, sausage... whatever you like to call it. Trust me. You probably stink and don't even know it! Just wait until you start dating a girl with an excellence sense of smell, you will have the biggest moment of self-discovery known to humankind. Your junk has stank all this time and... you did not even know. Think about all those sexual encounters, could they be holding a big bag of humiliation pie? Maybe all your friends already know about your dirty smelly little secret. And little it sure is. I am uncircumcised, so it will be less work for those of you who are cumcized... and yes, I just said cumcized.  Get some good soap, you could even use the stuff girls use, don't ask me how I know. Unroll every nook and cranny, and get some soap in there. From the head to the base, you need to scrub every SINGLE inch. Don't worry, it won't take long with those three inches. Stretch it out, unfold, unroll, do whatever you have to do to expose every part of your schl