Humble Braggers

You know who you are.

They are subtle in their approach and light in execution. But it's always the same, old, timeless intention, to say they are better than you.

How can one be humble (Kendrick!) yet at the same time brag? Ain't that like, a contradiction and shit?

You do it like this.

Situation 1:
Leo: "Wow, nice weather. How is your car doing?"

Douche 1: "Not too good, my tires are all worn out because I've been running all over the place. I'm just so busy and these damn girls keep asking me out on dates. So all this driving is taking a toll on my back."

Situation 2:
Leo: "Hey wassup bro, it's Monday. You ready to work!?"

Douche 2: "Yeah man, I feel so lazy. *Walks a bit* But you know, today I had a killer work out. I am so tired."

Lee-Bro: "Very good."

Douche 2: " Today I did, *blah* *blah* workout and I went HEAVY. Do you know that workout?"

Lee-Bro: "Yes, I don't do it"

Douche 2: "Yeah well, I did like three plates on each side, it was difficult. But I got it."

Lee-Bro: "Cool, bro."

Situation 3:
Leonitas: "Yeah, I talk to girls every now and then. Go party. Usual shit."

Douche 3: "Yeah well, me and this girl have been Snapping each other for like, months. Got a good streak going."

Leonitas: "Streak huh? Cool?"

Douche 3: "Yeah she looks alright. Don't like her that much. But, she keeps talking to me so I entertain her."

Leonitas: "Good job, stud."
This is the shit I live through. You 20-somthing-hipster-wanna-be-self-proclaimed-nice mother fuckers are all guilty of this... All I got to say is. No wonder girls can't stand you.

If you want to be an asshole. Be an asshole.

If you want to be nice then be fucking nice.

Too many fakes in our world, how hard is it to just be real?


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