Trying To Be Nice

Wanna hear an awesome story where I do a fail?

 Leggo!

It was a Saturday night, I went over this girl's place to pre-funk then stroll down to the club together.

I met some girl from China.

Cool.

And she was taken... Whatever.

Many, many, many Hennessy shots later. I am ready.

Fast forward to the club. We got some hip-hop going, I can barely see, I am so drunk. This is fun!

Through the haze, I can see a group of sexy-ass Asian girls with blonde hair. They resembled a dream or maybe a porno I have seen. The exquisitely Pikachu-ed hair ladies were all standing in a big circle. How cute.

But, there was one that stood out.

She was not pretty like the rest of her friends. She looked like she got down syndrome or something like that (seriously, not trying to be mean). All them fine-ass bitches had a random latched on, you know, like those tiny fishes that bite on to bigger ones, just to tag along for the ride.

Except for her.

So here I am: gold watch, fresh shirt, clean pants and I even changed my underwear before leaving home.

I look better than all these mother fuckers, let's go make a girl's day. Month?? Shit, maybe her whole year. Wow, I am so nice.

So I walked up to Miss Not-So-Pretty, gently grabbed her arm and told her, "let's dance." While I was grinding on her from behind, her friends cheered. Of course they should! Look at me.

But then, something strange happened, something unexpected, something earth shattering.

She ran away from me.

You ungrateful bitch!

One of her friends grabbed my arm and asked me to try again. Sure, just cause you fine as hell ma. So I did. Bitch ran away again.

See ya. I'm going back to my other girls.

No third try from me.

Took another shot and I'm in the whoaaa stage of drunk. I looked behind me and look who it is, Miss Stuck-Up. But her hair is down, she looks - sexier. Was it the Henny? Henny thing IS possible!

I turned to faced her then got a little closer. But if she wants, THE-LEO, she is coming to me this time.

Slowly, she is getting that ass closer to Leo. That's right, crawl back. But as luck would have it, the girls I came with grabbed my arm... they wanted to leave.

Too bad honey.

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