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Showing posts from December, 2017

Jack In The Box Girl 2

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So, my gamble did NOT pay off. Luckily, it was just a Benjamin.

Not a huge loss, just unfortunate.

Several months later, a random number texted me at like 3AM. I was drunk, in bed, and staring at the wall... Perfect timing.

"Hey, honey! How you been, long time no see."
...Who the fuck, is this!?

"Who the fuck is this?"
"It's Crystal."
...Oh.

"My stripper cousin is here, wanna have a threesome?"


It's late and I was drunk as fuck... Oh, fuck yeah!

"I've always wanted to have a threesome."
She started off, pretty good. Sounded horny as fuck. She wanted me to come to their hotel, but, she needed a little help with some bills. Only like - $700.

"Could you pleasseeeeee help a girl, in need."
HAHAH!... AHAHAH!

Stop yanking my chain, y'all bitches. That was funny.

She was dead serious, SEVEN HUNDRED to fuck a ratchet, well loosened pussy.

You think that pussy is made of gold? I better pull my dink out and see it c…

Jack In The Box Girl

My daily ritual: wake up, take a shit, take a shot, go to work, buy shitty food from any place still open, eat, sleep, repeat.

One of the places I frequent most, is Jack In The Box.

Cause it's close to my house.

But, REALLY, it's because there was this cute Mexican chick working the drive-thru.

And I'm desperate.

...Not just desperate, but, very desperate.

So, one day. I met this cute, little thang. Her name was Crystal Gomez.

I'm not even gonna bother coming up with a secret identity for her, cause bitch is the biggest hoe, this side of the fucking universe.

I'm sure more people have seen that pussy, than the entire populations of some towns.

But I didn't know she was a thot... Not yet. I thought she was just a cute girl working the night-shift, just like me. 😋

I go there, get my shit, stare at some ass. Then go home and continue my sad existence.

Eventually, we had seen each other enough, to where, a beautiful spark had developed. She gave me her number. Acting all …

She Was Aggressive

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Remember that one story, where my friend's girl was slutting around, then I was like, "cut that bitch off," like KCamp. All while, our universally unhelpful lady friend decided, the best option was to talk about feelings??

Feelings!? Pffffffffft. This isn't the Sisterhood Of The Traveling WHATEVER... or Twilight.
Well, that night had a lot more going, though, like most things in my life. It ended up being forcibly ripped out of my hands, right as I was getting to the center of that Tootsie Pop.

That sounded dirty.
I arrived at our bar/club in a big bunch, one of the girls I came with brought two mafia looking "body guards". It was one of those, "uhhhhh, okay?" kind of moments.

Sluts be sluts. Enough about her.

Back to me.

So I was rocking a fresh outfit, gold watch, two chains (just kidding, I'm not that cool) and other good shit. I topped everything off, with a chinstrap.

Besides the drama that unfolded before my eyes.

While I was sitting at t…

The Official News

What is the purpose of this blog?

No purpose, really.

I come from the time when assholes roamed the Earth, where the weak got dunked into your nearest and shittiest toilet.

When nerds aspired to be the assholes. Then get the girl... And go on to pick on the new generation of dweebs.

What I'm saying is, it's okay to go out and get drunk. Go out and be a man for the night.

See those fine chicks over there...? 

Tell them they got nice tits.

Come back here, and share with me your cool stories!