Bro Dance Guide
So you wanna get down.
But, you don't know how to get down.
Don't worry, I will teach you the basics. All it takes is four simple steps.
The bounce is essential to any attempt at being a sexy-mother-fucker. A must if you want to find love in the club, in the club, in the club.
What it boils down to.
Is you, maintaining a slow, deliberate and in beat, bend of the legs.
I'm not talking a Asian squat or even a regular everyone else squat. Just a very slight, rapper-style, bend of the legs. To put a number on it, I'd say, 45 degrees or less.
Start with your regular stance, now put your dominant foot slightly behind you.
Now, play Be Humble by Kendrick Lamar.
Find your rhythm, then bend your dominant leg. Keep it in beat with the song. Your other leg will follow, but, it won't bend as much. That is what we want.
As the song goes, "sit down."
Twist your upper body.
I'm not talking, like if you were, turning around to talk to someone.
I'm talking an exaggerated lean, using your dominant shoulder to lead the way. You bend that one shoulder back then return to normal. Rinse, repeat.
Let your bounce be your guide, as you bend, you lean. As you straighten out, un-lean.
What to do with your hands.
I find that, you can pretty much do anything with your hands. As long as there's a rhyme and reason.
As long as you keep it slow and deliberate, you can get away with pretty much anything. Trust me, I've tried.
If you are shy or hesitate, you will look like you don't know what you are doing
...Don't flail your arms, like you are having a seizure.
...Don't keep your arms glued to your side, like a loser, either.
You want to keep everything within a 2-3 feet bubble, all around you. Going beyond that, doesn't look good. Plus, you will be pissing off lots of people. Drunk people. People who are itching for a fight.
Now to seal the deal.
Important rules to keep in mind, as a bro on the dance floor is...
First, keep everything you do, slow and deliberate. If you go out looking like you're having a heart attack. You'll only like a dumb ass.
Second, keep your shoulders back and down, imagine squeezing a titty between your shoulder blades. Keep your chin tucked in. Stand up straight.
Third, no matter what you are doing. Do not hunch over or cower. You will have moments where, you are like, "oh shit, what the hell am I doing right now." Remember rule number two.
Four, have fun with it. Forget the bitches and anything holding you back, HAVE FUN!