Getting Tricked By The Jack-In-The-Box Girl

My daily ritual: wake up, take a shit, take a shot, go to work, buy shitty food from any place still open, eat, sleep, repeat.

One of the places I frequent most, is Jack In The Box.

Cause it's close to my house.

But, REALLY, it's because there was this cute Mexican chick working the drive-thru.

And I'm desperate.

...Not just desperate, but, very desperate.

So, one day. I met this cute, little thang. Her name was Crystal Gomez.

I'm sure more people have seen that pussy, than the entire populations of some towns. But I didn't know she was a thot... Not yet. I thought she was just a cute girl working the night-shift, just like me. 

I go there, get my shit, stare at some ass. Then go home and jerk this meat.

Eventually, we had seen each other enough, to where, a beautiful spark had developed. She started giving me some free shit, with my shit.

I was feeling generous, one night. I decided to get that nice ass some tacos and bring it to her. She got in my car, so I naturally gave her some tongue.

Then, it came...

She start asking for money. 

And you already know what the answer should be. Unless you offering me something, I'm not just gonna give you money for being fucking cute.

But my hoe senses were tingling, and I decided to take a gamble. I mean, she ate my face off over some tacos. So I was feeling pretty good.

I said,

"You know what, I changed my mind. It's just money, I've got plenty of it!"

She texted me back,

"Oh, I'mma be your girlfriend. Cook you breakfast every morning and have bomb ass sex all night."

Sounded pretty good! I was seeing the stars. So, I let her barrow a little cash. We can fuck later.

All good?

No. 

Bitch disappeared after taking my hundred.

I got fucking played! Walked right into it.

She stopped texting me back, claimed a stalker was blowing her shit up and... Got a new number. Game over.

A little taste of what to come.


So, my gamble did NOT pay off. Luckily, it was just a Benjamin.

Not a huge loss, just unfortunate.

Several months later, a random number texted me at like 3AM. I was drunk, in bed, and staring at the wall.

"Hey, honey! How you been, long time no see."

...Who the fuck, is this!?

"Who the fuck is this?"

"It's Crystal."

...Oh.

"My stripper cousin is here, wanna have a threesome?"

This is what she sent me.

It's late and I was drunk as fuck... Oh, fuck yeah!

"I've always wanted to have a threesome."

She started off, pretty good. Sounded horny as fuck. Then she wanted me to come to their hotel, but, she needed a little help with some bills. Only like - $700.

"Could you pleasseeeeee help a girl, in need."

HAHAH!... AHAHAH!

That was funny.

She was dead serious, SEVEN HUNDRED to fuck a ratchet, loose pussy.

You think that pussy is made of gold? I better pull out my dink and see it covered in diamonds. Or at least, get a tasty sandwich...

She lowered her price to $400. Sounds much better. But I gently let her down with a, fuck no.

"You must have forgotten, that, you ran with my money."


"Baby, that was only a hundred, it's nothing."

Bitch, that was MY hundred. You ain't getting shit. I politely told her to please fuck on off.

"But you said, you would help me."

So where was all that, about, you being my girlfriend and the bomb-ass sex? Still haven't seen any bombs or sex.

"I'll do anything you want, daddy."

Let me teach all you a lesson, right now.

There is no third chance, there shouldn't even be a second chance.



Especially, with a hoe like this... she probably played hundreds of hungry SIMPs like this. And you can count me as proud member of that crowd. But I wanted to redeem myself... I was not going down like this.

"Let me fuck that ass, or it's over. Simple as that."

And she kept going on about how we would fuck once I sent her some cheddar. Yeah, sure you will. Can't fool me a second time, bitch!

So, I bullshitted... had a little fun. I put on my absolute best impression of a pathetic white-knighting piece of shit.

"I still really like you! I just got paid, I just want to see you naked. Like so so bad. You are so beautiful, we don't even have to do anything. I just want to see that sexy body."

"Yes, please. I really need money right now. I will do anything for you."

She ate it all up, called me all these names, described in detail what she gonna do to me. Good.

I went for the kill, told her I will give her whatever she wanted. If, she sent me nudes.
She didn't believe me.

I said, that's fine.

"You don't have to, if you don't want to."

I decided to give her a taste.

"Got money sitting right here, in my Louis Vuitton wallet. Collecting dust, waiting for a girl to spend it on."

I sent her a picture of my wallet. Cash sticking out of it, so you could see the hundreds.

...I got the nudes. I now, consider her debt, paid.

And I will share with all my friends. The number was disconnected a long time ago, so don't even bother. 

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