Seattle's Head Tax

Hey you.



That's a nice Mercedes Benz, you got there. How about you pay my phone bill.


Cause I'm poor. Bitch.

What? You don't want to pay for my shit? Too bad, mother fucker. Now, gimme that money!

The gender confused, easily offended and also quite sensitive. Want YOU to pay for my homeless ass.

Plus my friend... Debilitating Heroin Addiction.

The new, Seattle head tax.

Who knows. Maybe. Just maybe.

This is all a secret sacrifice for the greater good.

Let's say, all the businesses move out of Seattle and into neighboring cities.

Because the people who run this place, are obviously, a pack of wild monkeys.

Those businesses will bring with them, new jobs and prosperity. Which, will now be spread through out the entire state of Washington. Like a flying-rainbow unicorn, raining down sprinkles for everyone.

People will migrate all over the state, following whatever fuck job, they do.

This solves many problems for Seattle:

1. No people = no traffic.

Boom, that was an easy fix. No need for upgrades or expansions for non-existent communists... Err... Commutors.

2. Housing will drop.

Cause no one will want to live in Seattle.

3. The homeless will leave Seattle.

Who are you gonna rob, when all the rich people are now in Tacoma. Can't sell your own shit for drugs, amiright? Follow the stuck-up-sweater-wearing-tennis-ball-hitting, pretentious mother fuckers.

Maybe, all of us screaming FUCK THIS PLACE, having it all wrong.

This is just the beginning of a series of steps, to return Seattle to a simpler time.

Or the pack of hyenas in office, think their master plan is gonna work. And they have no clue, how bad they all just spectacularly, fucked up.

Only time will tell.


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