How To Get Rich In 5 Days

In a futile attempt to promote my website.

I have come, to a conclusion.

FUCK IT

So I tried searching here, and looking there. All I can find is bullshit, like this. Dive in with me and let's see how this blogging shit works:

How To Promote Your Blog: 560,402 Visits & 25,500 Social Shares (with 1 Post)
by: Stupid Asshole

Today, I’m going to show you step-by-step how to promote your blog posts to get thousands of social media shares and drive waves of traffic to your site.

These are the exact tactics I’ve used to generate 831,999 page views, 25,696 social shares, AND 69 BJs. With just ONE blog posts:

And send nearly a quarter of a million organic visitors.

I’m going to show you how I did it with:

-Zero budget.

-Zero connections.

-A brand spankin’ new blog.

-While working as a full-time prostitute.

With a solid game plan, the right tools and a little elbow grease, you can promote your blog posts and generate thousands of visits and social media shares on autopilot...

In any niche.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Hey, you know what, guy?

FUCK YOU.

And I'mma tell you why.

Because right after those well-thought out, literary pieces of shit. You get this:


BUY THIS NOW


What!?

I get this big tease, all this hype. And now I have to whip out my credit card, to buy some shitty E-Book? 

They will coach you to success, alright. But it won't be your success. It will be for them. Cause you just paid $599, to have someone bless upon you... "wisdom"...  equivalent to asking an 8-ball fortune teller. You could probably do better going to any of the million finance blog clones out there, giving the same shit advice.

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