How To Get Rich In 5 Days

In a futile attempt to promote my website.

I have come, to a conclusion.

FUCK IT.

So I tried searching here, and looking there. All I can find is bullshit, like this.

How To Promote Your Blog: 560,402 Visits & 25,500 Social Shares (with 1 Post)
by: Stupid Asshole

Today, I’m going to show you step-by-step how to promote your blog posts to get thousands of social media shares and drive waves of traffic to your site.

These are the exact tactics I’ve used to generate 831,999 page views, 25,696 social shares, AND 69 BJs. With just ONE blog posts:

And send nearly a quarter of a million organic visitors.

I’m going to show you how I did it with:

-Zero budget.

-Zero connections.

-A brand spankin’ new blog.

-While working as a full-time prostitute.

With a solid game plan, the right tools and a little elbow grease, you can promote your blog posts and generate thousands of visits and social media shares on autopilot...

In any niche.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Hey, you know what, guy?

FUCK YOU.

And I'mma tell you why.

Because right after those well-thought out, literary pieces of shit. You get this:


BUY THIS NOW

What!?

I get this big tease, all this hype. And now I have to whip out my credit card, to buy some shitty E-Book?

Which is most likely, filled with nonsense. Like "You wanna make a lot of money!? Well, get a job!" and bullshit like that.

Like really?

If I get a job, I will make money!? WOW!

And there are these "experts" you can pay for, to coach you to success.

Wanna know a little secret? They will coach you to success, alright. But it won't be your success. 

It will be for them. 

Cause you just paid $599, to have someone bless upon you... "Wisdom"...  Equivalent to asking an 8-ball fortune teller, for business advice.

So let me share with you, a little wisdom.

Free of charge. Save your money.

That will be $699. I take payment in cash, or sexual favors. Thank you.

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