Let Us Find Two Lesbians

Calling all lesbians!

Who wants to help me, help myself. And no... Not like that.

I'm talking about completing my bucket list!

Now here, is what I need.


And I need y'all to like, do something naughty for me.


You can: finger each other, lick each other (of course), hug, or maybe... Talk about how shitty, guys like me are.

Something sexy. Ya know.

So why should you help Leo?


...I'm nice.

...I'm quite beautiful, for a dude.

...I can fix your car.

...I'm very, very desperate.

...And uhh... Uhhh... I can drink a mean shot?

Are you convinced?

Say no more.

I'm so happy you will help me! It's nice to see such kind, and selfless people in our cold-cold world.

So where can we do this... Your place or mine. Or preferably, a dark and sexily lit - shower.

Now, all I'm gonna do, is watch.

That's it!

No, it's not creepy. Don't be silly.

There is no way, having a random Asian dude, stare at you. While you're both licking each other, slurping up those juices... Creepy.

If anything, it's art.

If I'm starting at you, then it means:

1. You are probably a sexy bitch.

2. I'm probably getting a chub.

I'm getting a chubby, cause you sexy as hell ma.

So... Staring + Chub = You Sexy. 

Therefore, what's actually happening... Is that... I'm really complementing you, on your excellent physique and genetic attributes.

I hope, with that heart-felt confession. Your worries are put at ease.

Because I feel quite relaxed right now.

...Maybe it's the Hennessey.

...Or maybe, it cause, I didn't take my meds this morning.

I'm not crazy. I swear. Me? Crazy?

That's just silly.

What's that over there, you ask?

That's totally not a freezer, with a dead body it in. I mean, if it were. I'd have to chop it up, into three pieces. So it'd all fit inside.

Not that, I would know. But if I did know... That's what I would do.

So when are we doing this?

Where the hell, am I supposed to find two vagina-luvin girls?

I do realize, I AM in Seattle. So it shouldn't be too hard. All I got to do, is walk into the nearest Starbucks. Or head to my local Subaru dealership, and scope out the section with all the Outbacks.

The real question is. Will they let me gawk, and write home about it.

Possibly take pictures, and a video or two.

For tax purposes.

Plan A:
Is to hire two hookers.

Plan B:
Is to ask around. Maybe I'd find some really horny lesbians?

Plan C:
Ask the GF for help.

Yah... I'm sure that would work...

Plan D:

Plan E:
Beg random girls until I'm so annoying, that they just do it. Just to get rid of me.

There you have it, a solid plan of attack! We should be staring down, some lesbian vagina very soon!


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