My Fucking FaceBook Friends

The friends on my personal FaceBook, the people I know in real life. Their hipster-ness fucking annoys me.

Like everyday...

"OMG I WENT ON A HIKE, I HAD THE TIME OF MY LIFE, I MET SO MANY WONDERFUL, TRANSCENDING PEOPLE. I JUST CANNOT DESCRIBE THE JOY I GOT, WHEN THAT BEE STUNG ME ON THE ASS. I AM IN TEARS, OMG OMG OMG."

It's like, dude... You climb a fucking rock, and there were some random people.

Oh, and I forgot the billion hash-tags.

#timeofyourlife #rockgirl #naturefreak #seattleloverules #lesbianhikedike #beautyandthetree #fuckyouall #eggplantsinmyass #wetvaginaplussandequalsbitch

And then, there is the overly in love girl/guy.

The most annoying, in my opinion. Followed closely, by the annoyance you get, when you're being eaten alive... By fucking fish.

"EVERYDAY WITH YOU IS A BLESSING, I LOVE TREVOR. I CALL HIM TRE-BAE, CAUSE THAT IS HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU. EVERY MOMENT WITH YOU, IS A PICTURE PERFECT FUCKING GODDAMN MOMENT. YOU COMPLETE MY LIFE, I JUST CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW HAPPY I AM. THERE ARE NO WORDS FOR MY LOVE. I LOVE YOU EVERY MINUTE, I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERY SECOND. EVEN WHEN YOU TAKE A FAT SHIT, I LOVE IT. LOVE YOU, ALWAYS AND FOREVER."

It's like... Stop. Just stop! I fucking get it! Okay! You are...

SoOoOoOoOo
OoOoOoOoooOo
OooOoOOOooOoo
OooOoooOoOOOoOo
OOoOOOOoOOooOOO
oOOoOOOoOOOOoOOoo... In fucking love.

You guys just see what I did there? Very artistic.

Not autistic, or altruistic. But ART.

Okay? I get it. Don't post the same speech every week... for EVERYTHING you do.

"OMG, I JUST GOT THE SHITS, WITH MY BAE. THAT DAMN CHINESE RESTAURANT, BAHAHAH? SPEECH TIME!"

An hour later...

"Today, was another wonderful day. With B.A.E. I got the shits, in fact... I'm shitting out my eyeballs, as we speak. But I'm so in love right now. Blowing out my diarrhea with enough velocity, to kill a man."

Now is the proper moment, to slowly back away. Then spin around, and run away! As fast, as you fucking can!

"I'm having the time of my life, every shit is complete with you here... I just cannot put this emotion, into words. *cries* I'm so overwhelmed by my happiness, I'm in tears."

Oh... SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Spend more time loving whateverthefuck, and less posting novels on Face-Fucking-Book.

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