What I Think It Is Like To Be Female

Correction, how I think life as a hot girl... Is like.

It cannot be all that bad, to be a hot girl.

Like, the worst that can happen?

...You bleed every month.

End of suffering.

Now, on to the benefits our insurance (the hot bitch life insurance) policy offers:

Sex anytime, and with anyone you want.

An obvious benefit is, you can fuck everything. And they all wanna fuck you back. Black, white, yellow, brown, they all game.

Other girls? Lesbian action? 

Snap your fingers, and you got vagina. Ready for licking.

No money, no problem.

Being a hot girl, you have options. Many OPTIONS.

Say you want a new toy.

You and I... Such simple males, as we are.

We would need to work our asses off. And save money, then not eat for three months.

If you're a hot chick,

"I'd really like to sleep with you, but I also REALLY want a new Louis Vuitton. *wink*"



Even I would fall for that, and I'm the one writing this shit.

Or if you're not in the mood for sex. Find some old wrinkly ass, who had slaved away their life before you. Now they're free, and so is their money.

Now, take it.

All of it, every single penny. That old pervert won't need money... Gone die soon anyway.

Head to any club or lounge, and wear a dress with a low-low-LOW neckline. Wear pushups, or invest in yourself, by getting state-of-the-art titties.

You know?

The ones with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi, GPS navigation, and can self-inflate (in case you run over nails, with your tits) - they're iJugs.

So yes, find one of those one-step-from-the-grave types. And make them pay you, for a "relationship".

They can't fuck you anyways. Their shit don't work no more!

Free money, no sex.

One and done.

Never be hungry, or thirsty. Ever again.

You know Tinder right?

Now as a hot bitch, who REALLY wants to out bitch, the bitchiest bitch.

Go swipe right on everyone.

Yes, accept EVERYONE!

OH! You so nice. You're giving everyone a shot, at love. With Tila Tequila.

No bitch.

You ain't about that life. You're better than that. You're after free food, and drink.

Go on as many dates as possible. Lead the poor sucker on, just enough. Just enough to...

Stuff your face, and drink your liver away.

Then be all like,

"O...M...G, I had a great time with you. But I need to get home and work on my Doctorate's degree, I'd love to do this again."

"Hey, I love you! I knew right away, that you were the one. I cannot describe, how happy I am to meet someone like you. And through Tinder! How is next week!"

"That would be lovely... Muahahahaha! Err... I mean... Yes. See you then."

Then you ghost the mother fucker. And find the next victim.


In conclusion, yeah... Life is easy when you got a good rack, and a round ass.

Sadly, I'm a dude.

So I get to suffer my entire life.

Then die. 

Just the way nature intended.


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