The Kavanaugh Effect

Before you continue, this post isn't about putting Kavanaugh on blast.

This is about the bitches.

So hit the back button, if you're a feminist... Or a little bitch.

I'm really hung over from last night's Long Island challenge. So I hate life. And reading the news, makes me hate all you too.

Wholesome ladies, everywhere... They say, they reserve the right to be sluts.

...If I have my titties flopping everywhere, no one can touch them.

...If I dress like a prostitute, no one can stare.

...If I touch you, you can't touch me back.

You put yourself in a situation, and you get mad when the fairy and butterfly result, doesn't happen?

What else did you expect?

When you're a girl, and you surround yourself with a bunch of drunk assholes? What do you think would fucking happen?

Were you under a rock all this time?

There are movies, and shit everywhere. The answer is very obvious. You can even try Googling it.

"What would happen if I: dressed like a whore then got drunk with 20 fraternity ass-hats."

I'm not saying the drunk assholes are right. I'm saying you could have avoided the whole situation.

...But no, you wanted to have a little fun.

...Be a slut for a little bit.

Then it all bit you on the ass.

There many people in this world... And you can hang with any of them.

The bitches who like to claim, that someone touchy-touchy their titties 45 years ago, chose the cream of the crop to get drunk with.

Meaning, the shittiest of the shit. The douchiest of the douche.

...Cause they bad asses.



...Fun to be around.

...Makes that vagina, feel alive.

They want outgoing, muscle, tall, a grabber of that pussy. Like you're nothing more, than a walking fuck doll.

Sure, you have the right to hang with whoever you want. Whether it be the neighborhood creeper, or that friendly pedo.

You can hang with whatever.

But there are also the people out there, everyone forgets about... Who aren't as social... Shy and quiet, they get left out of the fun.

You know, the ones afraid to even touch a girl.

Girls don't like those wimps, cause they weak.

There's your sign.

Don't get drunk around people you don't trust. Don't put yourself in a vulnerable situation, around strangers. Don't party with assholes...

Even I, need to keep those things in mind. So I cannot imagine why a girl would not consider the same.

But when something happens, you get The Kavanaugh Effect: where someone's life, gets turned upside-down. Over something that MIGHT have happened? Maybe.

Suddenly, everyone remembers they got touched by so-and-so. So they jump on the wagon.

And any form of communication, aside from politically correct bullshit, is considered harassment.

So let's go back, and talk about me. What about me? Do I get sexually harassed?

When a bunch of drunk assholes are assembled into a room, we do stupid stuff. Even to each other... So the answer, is yes.

At the club, I get bitches grabbing my ass all the time.

I feel a grab... Or a light brush.

So I turn around, and see a bunch of girls behind me. And I get confused.

You see, you have the luxury of being known as a non-aggressor. So when someone grabs my ass like that, I automatically assumed it was some drunk mother fucker.

I was ready to shove someone.

But no, it was a girl. So I'm like... Meh? Whatever.

Then there was that one time, at the Rhino Room...

I was just trying to pass this fine-ass Asian chick, but she grabbed my arm! Pushed me against the table and started sexually harassing my pee-pee... With her ass.

It was traumatizing!

I still remember everything. And this was years ago.

But my gut tells me, you don't really feel sorry for me. Right...? Right.

Even when a girl, sexually harassed another girl. Guess who gets the blame? ME!

I mean if all you women are so up in arms about that #MeToo shit.

Why don't you just start raping us back?

Give those assholes a taste of their own medicine.


Let's do some real talk.

I'm not one to force myself on anyone, unless invited. So us fellas, we gotta learn to be better. More respectful, and considerate.

Being one of these 20-something assholes, I've done it all for a shot at pussy. I know a lot of us, straight up, don't give a fuck. And we got to do better about that.

And I don't mean, to that random slut at the club.

I mean to everyone... Raise that bare minimum, a little higher.

Now, to the ladies.

I know not all of you are sluts. There are some of you, just minding their own business. Until someone decided for you, it was fucking time. And that is not right.

But when shit hits the fan...

Two things, actually, maybe three.

First is - don't fight. Going off my own self, when I get really drunk, my temper explodes. So if you start punching and hitting, it's going to turn into a fist-fight.

...And you won't win.

...Or you will get beat up.

But if you think you're physically stronger, why not.

The second thing - is act crazy. Like horny-crazy. Nothing works better, to make someone stop in their tracks!

Tell em, you really want to fuck. But you got herpes, and a nasty rash on that pussy. Let's fuck doggy-style, over THERE (somewhere across the room). And you wanna get some lube/protection/whatever.

All that shit coming at once, will make them freeze. Then ask,

"Wait... What?"

That's when you bolt. 

Or maybe... Try option three - stick a finger in their asshole. THEN RUN.


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