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Showing posts from November, 2018

You Are Pretty Fucking Crazy

You ever meet someone who seem pretty normal... At first?
Then they start telling you stories  that seem a little - out there.
But not enough for you to straight up be like,
"Hey, you are pretty fucking crazy."
Then they continue,
And...
Sweet mother of God!
We got ourselves a certified serial-killer/cult-leader/child-rapist/Star Bucks tip-jar-stealer!

A fellow prisoner at work was telling me how he burnt away all his benefits due to a severe case of I-Don't-Give-A-Fuckititis. 
Which wasn't out of the ordinary, people here are lazy as hell.
So I listened, and pretended to care.

"Aww man, I'm so sorry to hear that! Hope you get better, okay?"
You can stop talking to me now.
Then it evolved into stories about this special blood, that made him immune to diseases.

 "Oh wow, that's amazing! You should get studied." 
I suggested, doing the right thing. And sacrificing himself to cure the world.

Of his retardation.

Unfortunately, anyone that come…

Working At McDonalds

Everyone has to start somewhere.

I started as a cashier...

At McDonalds.

I firmly believe that all these ungrateful, punk-ass kids nowadays... Should have mandatory shitty-fast-food-restaurant duty.

Not only does it build character, getting yelled at by a fat lady with 8.25 kids. She also came with enough auxiliary storage under her stomach-flaps to store:

...Exactly $12,450.89 in spare change.

...Five McDoubles with: no cheese, no onion, Mac sauce, extra salt, extra pickle, no mustard, a shit-ton ketchup, ranch, dijon mustard and two packets of mayonnaise on the side.

"And that's just for one sandwich, for the second one, I want..."
Hang on lady.

Let me hang myself with this tie, first.

Not only do you get that. But you also get to experience what real life is.

Outside of fucking Maple Story and RuneScape.

And does it suck.

I had a manager, her name was Betty. She was the female-equivalent to your slightly drugged out friend... Who is stuck in a perpetual state of almost fu…