Stop Making Out At Restaurants

It was Saturday night, and I was feeling tired.

...Yet very thirsty.

So where do you go, when you "want to get drunk, but nothing too wild..."

The answer is Apple Bee's.

I was barely, halfway through my first mojito when a young couple got sat behind us.
Great...

This is only the 20-billionth time that I've seen a couple, like, eat each other's face out while everyone is causally trying to finish dinner.

I don't have very high hopes, I could just tell by looking at these two that they're degenerates. I noticed that, they were seated side-by-side. Yep... It's over.

The classic exhibitionist position.

You are in a damn Apple Bee's, not McDonalds, not Lovers, or Wal-Mart. Okay? There are little kids here, with their parents, trying to wolf down some Four-Cheese Mac N' Cheese. We don't need a live-action, soft-core porno playing in the background.

I need a drink.

"Excuse me, waitress? Give me something to end this nightmare."

 

"Whatever it is, make it a double."

Seriously, why do trashy people feel the need to demonstrate their love... Everywhere.

After some time, they decided to come up for air. The young fellow was going to try impressing this lady with a little drinking.

"I would like to have a Jack Henny please."

I would love to see them drink that shit. I eagerly wait for the waitress!

The girl gives it the first sip.

*Choke*

*Cough*

*Sputter*

"Oh God, that was strong!"

*Cough*

Then our hero steps in and chokes just as bad.

Comments

Post a Comment

Tell me what you think!

The Most Popular:

How To Tell If Her Pussy Is Clean

I'd rather be a celibate virgin, than eat cottage cheese... again. You just met this girl, things are going pretty good, and you're probably gonna hit it tonight. But you're still worried about that one cottage cheese incident.  That cheese is still fresh on your mind. Is there a way to tell if you're about to get some unwanted Parmesan on that salad? I consulted the experts: Me: My man! I need some wisdom. Gary: Mood morning my friend, what is on your mind? Me: I was just in the shower, and I was thinking... How can you tell if a girl you just met has that squeaky clean pussy? Gary: I thought you were gonna say that you were thinking about me in the shower. 💦 First, you do the sniff test. If she passes that, then rubber up. Don't lick that pussy until you know some history! 👅 Me: Is there a way to tell before you're already past the point of running the fuck away? Gary: No, she could be a clean freak, and you might still end up lickin
Read More »

Rich Folks And Their Sugar Babies

I happen to know a lot of escorts, hookers, companions... whatever you wanna call it, it is the oldest profession in town. Right next to working behind a dumper at Wendy's giving $20 BJs. Every now and then, these girls would tell me about some rich bruh, who will take them to a nice little brunch then causally drop $1,500 on the table.  "Here you go! Just a little gift from me." Do you know how long it would take to make that kind of money, sitting behind a dumpster? A long time. And the funny part is, these assholes got families too, so they're already treatin the wifey to that Chanel and L.V. yum yum. Yet, they got SO much money, they can afford to splurge on a side piece/s too. These girls are already making 200+ an hour, and if you are a "high-class" escort, it is 500+ an hour easy. And don't even get me started on that chick who did like one video, so now she thinks she is a porn star... they are not broke. Yet, here we are. I don't know about
Read More »

Why Does Everyone Have A OnlyFans Now

...it just looks desperate. But hey, that's just me. It's like, "you know what, I'm a future doctor" but let me post some nudes on Reddit real quick, for that thot high-score. It tingles in all the right places when literal hordes of mindless basement dwellers are MELTING over my body. And when I say melt, I mean furiously masturbating into a sock... probably. But hey, use lube kids, or you'll chaff your wiener. And nobody wants a chaffed wiener. So we got random titty pics posted online for that quick self-esteem, which is kind of funny, are these bitches endless voids of insecurity? Despite all the attention gushing from unmentionable places, their bucket never seems to get full. And and endless cycle of nudes and simpin continues. Well, I guess if people paid for my nudes, I'd probably take advantage of it too. But the issue is when everyone thinks they can do it. And trust me, not everyone can do it. Sure there is a niche for everything, but when you o
Read More »

TikTok Influencers

Ah, nothing like a fresh cup of cringe in the morning. We got so many people desperate for attention, they are eating out of toilets, chugging cough syrup, and now... faking tourettes? These "influencers" will do anything for views, which is pretty fucking sad.  But let's be real here. All they're desperately screaming is, "I want to get paid for doing nothing." And that's a pretty honorable goal in itself, I myself, would love to sit around all day and film myself doing stupid shit... while getting paid $100,000 a year.   Just who the hell are the people paying for all this? I mean, do we have a bad case of the old farts with too much money? I guess as long as you get eyeballs looking, you can blast annoying advertisements at them then rake in that cash. But that's only if you are YouTube or the Tok. Still... it doesn't make sense to me. I mean, if I were selling shit, I wouldn't want my products advertised on some chick making a sundae with
Read More »

Why Are People Driving With Their High Beams On

WHY? I thought cops pulled you over for that shit. And you know, having a loud cool exhaust. Since when did people suddenly decide that was okay? Let me tell you something, it is SO nice driving around at night... half-fucking-blind from a Prius going 20 miles under the limit... with their brights on.  I drive a truck, since I want people to know that I'm pretty damn big. And being as big and tall as I, even I think being blinded is pretty fucking annoying. To which, the only natural response would be to ram their car off the road. Pull them out, and firmly remind them with my fists that driving around with your high beams on is pretty unsafe. Too bad we are in 2022. And apparently, the world has regressed to a simpler time. A time when nobody knew how to turn off their high beams because we humans have just been riding around on our horses all this time. This fancy new technology, that can be turned off by pulling a fucking stick towards your fucking face... and it isn't just
Read More »