How To Tell If Her Pussy Is Clean

I'd rather be a celibate virgin, than eat cottage cheese... again.

You just met this girl, things are going pretty good, and you're probably gonna hit it tonight. But you're still worried about that one cottage cheese incident. 

That cheese is still fresh on your mind.

Is there a way to tell if you're about to get some unwanted Parmesan on that salad?

I consulted the experts:

Me: My man! I need some wisdom.

Gary: Mood morning my friend, what is on your mind?

Me: I was just in the shower, and I was thinking... How can you tell if a girl you just met has that squeaky clean pussy?

Gary: I thought you were gonna say that you were thinking about me in the shower. 💦 First, you do the sniff test. If she passes that, then rubber up. Don't lick that pussy until you know some history! 👅

Me: Is there a way to tell before you're already past the point of running the fuck away?

Gary: No, she could be a clean freak, and you might still end up licking that cheese. Like that one time you did, you poor piece of shit HAHAHAHAH!

Very wise words from a very experienced veteran.

I hit up my friend, Fairy.

Me: YO! Wassup my man, I need your infinite wisdom on vaginas!

Fairy: Wassup, what you need?

Me: How can I separate the good pussy, from the bad pussy?

Fairy: What?

Me: How can I tell if a girl's pussy is clean, before it's too late?

Fairy: Get a pussy sniffing dog.

There you go, fellow degenerates, get a dog that can alert you to that stank.

But really, there are risks that come from dipping your pen in all that ink. A little STD there, maybe a little wart here... or all over, you just cannot be sure. Finding ways to escape cottage cheese is a crucial tool that everyone needs in their repertoire, and maybe a good doctor. So always have your escape plan ready, and be ready for hurt feelings cause it is either you or them. There are some sacrifices which must be made for the greater good.






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