Jack In The Box Girl

My daily ritual: wake up, take a shit, take a shot, go to work, buy shitty food from any place still open, eat, sleep, repeat.

One of the places I frequent most, is Jack In The Box.

Cause it's close to my house.

But, REALLY, it's because there was this cute Mexican chick working the drive-thru.

And I'm desperate.

...Not just desperate, but, very desperate.

So, one day. I met this cute, little thang. Her name was Crystal Gomez.

I'm not even gonna bother coming up with a secret identity for her, cause bitch is the biggest hoe, this side of the fucking universe.

I'm sure more people have seen that pussy, than the entire populations of some towns.

But I didn't know she was a thot... Not yet. I thought she was just a cute girl working the night-shift, just like me. 😋

I go there, get my shit, stare at some ass. Then go home and continue my sad existence.

Eventually, we had seen each other enough, to where, a beautiful spark had developed. She gave me her number. Acting all …

She Was Aggressive

Remember that one story, where my friend's girl was slutting around, then I was like, "cut that bitch off," like KCamp. All while, our universally unhelpful lady friend decided, the best option was to talk about feelings??

Feelings!? Pffffffffft. This isn't the Sisterhood Of The Traveling WHATEVER... or Twilight.
Well, that night had a lot more going, though, like most things in my life. It ended up being forcibly ripped out of my hands, right as I was getting to the center of that Tootsie Pop.

That sounded dirty.
I arrived at our bar/club in a big bunch, one of the girls I came with brought two mafia looking "body guards". It was one of those, "uhhhhh, okay?" kind of moments.

Sluts be sluts. Enough about her.

Back to me.

So I was rocking a fresh outfit, gold watch, two chains (just kidding, I'm not that cool) and other good shit. I topped everything off, with a chinstrap.

Besides the drama that unfolded before my eyes.

While I was sitting at t…

The Official News

What is the purpose of this blog?

No purpose, really.

I come from the time when assholes roamed the Earth, where the weak got dunked into your nearest and shittiest toilet.

When nerds aspired to be the assholes. Then get the girl... And go on to pick on the new generation of dweebs.

What I'm saying is, it's okay to go out and get drunk. Go out and be a man for the night.

See those fine chicks over there...? 

Tell them they got nice tits.

Come back here, and share with me your cool stories!

The Music Sucks At Clubs

It is November 29, 2017.

Why the fuck, are you playing the 80's... At a club...

In 20-fucking-17.
The clubs in Washington are providing an experience, which, coincides with partying in the vacuum of space. For it's patrons.

It is starting to fucking suck.
Just a few years ago, EDM was EDM and hip-hop is hip-hop. Now, everything is all mixed together. Which, sounds pretty good. But it's still silly.

With the latest trend... the 80's are making a comeback. And it's dumb as fuck.

Mixing hip-hop and EDM is passable, because you still have that bounce element. Mixing classic rock and EDM? It just make things awkward.

Like, what the fuck, awkward.
Not to mention, DJs are playing slower and slower, poorly EDM-ified music. They try to make it, at least, a little cool. But, its not.

DJs nowadays, suck.

I would get it, if, this was at one of those hipster bars in the weird part of town. But these are mainstream clubs. And Trinity has a room called the EDM room, which, for s…

Lesbian Viet

Oh mah goodness. Where do I start with this one.

Lil Blue, has a friend -- Les Viet. Exquisite face, heart-stopping body (but small tits, tho) and purveyor in the art of carpet munching. Wow. *Heart*

I mean, it doesn't bother me. I don't look down or disrespect a good lesbian-ing, it's fun watching two bitches get down. I'm not jealous.

But, that ass...


Our target for the night of debauchery is Sugar Hill, as you can probably tell from the intro, it is gonna end on a low note for me. But I ain't sour, no.

Lil Blue and I arrive on scene, looking fresh! We wait for everyone else.

A few minutes go by.

Les Viet is here and she is looking good in that camouflage outfit... Wassup. Then The Snob and a bunch of random bitches show up.


"Is everyone here? Yes? No? Who cares let's go."

Now in the club, I look around. I soon realize... I showed up on fucking lesbian night because -- actually. 
Fuck why.

The party is about to get lit!

While waiting …